Let’s start at the very beginning. You’ll see three easy ways to start a conversation in English.
1. How to Start a Conversation in English
Mikey: Hello! My name’s Mikey. What’s your name?
Stephanie: Stephanie, nice to meet you.
M:And you. Where are you from, Stephanie?
S: So, what did you think of the film?
M: It was… interesting.
S: Does that mean you didn’t like it?
M: I’m glad I saw it, but I wouldn’t watch it again.
M: Oh, hey, I saw some of your pictures from your trip. They’re amazing!
S: Thanks for saying so!
M: What kind of camera do you use?
S: Actually, I just use my phone.
First of all, if you don’t know the other person, of course you should introduce yourself. It can be awkward if you start talking and then you realise an hour later that you don’t know the other person’s name.
You saw three ways to start a conversation. What were they?
One: ask a simple question:
What’s your name?
Where are you from?
What do you do?
Two: make a comment or ask a question about the situation you’re in:
That looks delicious! What is it?
What did you think of the film?
It’s so cold in here! Is the heating broken?
Great party, right? Who do you know here?
Three: compliment the other person:
I love your top! Where did you get it?
I thought your presentation was really interesting.
Oh, you’re Mikey? I’ve heard so many good things about you.
Don’t think too much about what you say first. When you start a conversation, it’s more important to say something, even if it’s something very simple.
Easy, right? Introduce yourself, say something simple, and you’ve started a conversation.
Next, you need to build the conversation. Where do you go from here?
2. How to Continue a Conversation
M: Hey, you’re Stephanie, right?
S: Yeah. Mikey?
M: That’s right! Peter told me you’re in a band?
S: Well, kind of. I play guitar, and we just play together for fun. It’s nothing serious.
M: I play the guitar too, actually.
S: Really? What kind of thing do you play?
M: Actually, I play classical guitar. I just do it as a hobby; I’m not that good, but I enjoy it.
S: That’s the most important thing. Anyway, how do you know Peter?
M: We used to work together, and we stayed in touch.
Here, you saw three useful things you can do to build a conversation in English. Do you know what they were?
They’re all very simple. Anyone can use them! First idea: make a reference to something you have in common.
For example, do you know that the other person is a football fan? You can talk about football and ask:
Who do you support?
Did you see the City game on Sunday?
What’s your prediction for the cup final next weekend?
If you meet someone while you’re travelling, you could ask:
Where are you going to next?
You went to Rome? Any recommendations?
Do you know any good places to eat around here?
We said that you saw three ways to continue a conversation. What’s the second one?
Ask the other person about themselves and their life. People generally like to talk about themselves, and they like it when other people are interested in them, so this can be a very effective strategy!
Your job sounds really difficult. How do you manage everything?
I like your pictures. Is that in India?
I heard you’re really into cooking. What kind of stuff do you like to make?
Finally, you can also continue the conversation by referring to someone you both know, like this:
How do you know Lisa?
Have you known Simon long?
You work with Lee? I heard he can be quite difficult.
Again, it’s more important to say something, even if it’s something very basic. When you’ve just started talking to someone, anything is better than saying nothing.
The longer you can keep the conversation going, the more you’ll learn about each other, and the more topics you’ll have to explore.
Let’s look at some other important points to think about as your conversation continues.
3. Balancing Your Conversation
S: Mikey, hi! How was your trip?
M: It was great, thanks.
S: Where did you go?
M: Well, we started in Madrid, and then…
S: Where did you stay?
M: We found a really great homestay near the centre, and…
S: Did you eat tapas?
M: Well, yeah, a couple of times, but…
S: Did you go to the Royal Palace?
M: No, actually, we…
S: Why not?
M: Yeah, so as I was saying, it’s basically the best film ever.
M: I mean, people don’t rate Michael Bay, but I really think the man’s a genius, you know?
M: I’ve seen it twice at the cinema already. The last time I went it was so loud that I still couldn’t hear properly the next morning.
M: I’m still planning to see it again this weekend, though. I love it!
You saw two conversations. I hope you realise that these were examples of what not to do when you want to build a conversation.
What was the problem in each one?
In both conversations, there was a lack of balance.
In the first conversation, I was asking too many questions! A conversation shouldn’t sound like a police interrogation.
In the second conversation, I spoke too much, even though Stephanie clearly wasn’t interested in what I was talking about.
What’s the point here?
For a successful conversation, you need balance.
You need to balance asking questions and saying what you think.
M: It’s nearly done. Is there any chance you can ask someone to help me? It’s a lot of work.
S: I’ll see what I can do. Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer. Try to have the work done by tomorrow evening.
Here, you saw three short conversations with three different ways to leave a conversation. Do you remember them?
Here are the three phrases you saw:
I hate to be rude, but…
It’s been great talking to you, but…
I won’t keep you any longer.
You can also add the person’s name to make it sound more personal:
Stephanie, I hate to be rude, but…
Paul, it’s been great talking to you, but…
You can make these phrases sound stronger by adding a word like look or listen at the start:
Look, I hate to be rude, but…
Listen, it’s been great talking to you, but…
Saying it like this adds emphasis and makes it extra clear that the conversation is finishing.
After the word but, make an excuse:
Stephanie, I hate to be rude, but I have to catch the last metro.
Paul, it’s been great talking to you, but there are some other people here I need to catch up with.
Another good way to leave a conversation is to pretend that you’re stopping the other person from leaving. You can say something like:
I won’t keep you any longer.
I’ll let you get back to work.
On the phone, it’s common to say:
I’ll let you go.
This is a clear signal that the conversation is ending. Then, say goodbye, and you’re finished!
You can see that starting, developing and ending a conversation in English is quite simple. Use the tips and language from this lesson, and you’ll be able to have natural conversations in English easily!
Anyway, it’s been great talking to you, but we really have to go!